Nothing is ever more challenging in this world than passing that newborn phase soon after you become a mother. Being a new mom is definitely an overwhelming feeling, but at the same time brings a pile of challenges as well. One of them being stabilizing romance after a baby!
Soon after I delivered Humayra, I realized that most of my time passed only in feeding her, changing her diapers, giving her meds, changing her clothes and in what not. Basically, my husband got a lesser time than before. Which was definitely normal, but not that good as well for our marriage.
Thankfully soon after a year, I gradually started working it and thankfully we’re back. For all those mommies or even daddies who’re struggling to bring back that pre-baby romance after a baby, here are some of my super easy tips that might be helpful.
Before you guys had a baby, everything was a lot easier. You can get sudden prompt plans and can get along for a simple stroll or even a long ride just when you wanted. But now since you have your little one on the row, it becomes primarily important to bring back that spark while ensuring complete comfort on your baby’s part.
Plan a romantic getaway together or try getting on with just a simple date night, even if that means enjoying a serene dinner in your bedroom. Just make sure to align every plan according to your little one’s sleeping schedules.
Contribute To The Chores
Being a new mom is just so, so exhausting. Especially, if you have to manage the entire house all alone it becomes so very stressful. One of the best ways to rekindle the romance after a baby, especially for men, is to help their wives out is by contributing in their daily chores.
Help her do the laundry once in a while or just do a small pile of dishes or just even sterilize the bottles. Trust me, even giving us a glass of water means a lot! By contributing little by little to the household chores, you will definitely win back her heart sooner than you think.
Understand & Expect Changes
The basic core of any marriage or even a relationship is understanding. And this gets highly tested once you have a baby.
One of the biggest turnoffs that burn out the romance after a baby is being not empathetic. As a father or a mother, you have to understand that things are no longer the same. Your baby might sleep 3 hrs at a stretch today or might not sleep at all tomorrow. Understand these changes.
You just can’t expect her/him to be right down romantic when the little one is crying at the pitch of her voice or is nagging to get her diaper changed. You must understand that he is not giving you any gift as of now because he is saving the pennies for your child. Likewise, you must also understand that your wife is tired even when you try going mushy because she’s, after all, sacrificing her health and time to raise your child. It’s these little things that can turn to bigger shuffles.
Talk It Out
Being romantic after marriage is not just about being physical. After trust, communication plays a massive role too. Especially during this vital phase, it becomes primarily important for both the partners to get their hearts out.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a 5-minute conversation or a 2 hr discussion, unravel your feelings and just say it. Postpartum depressions or just if you’re looking for ways to lose that post-pregnancy weight, the topic just doesn’t matter as long as you guys are having an in-depth heart to heart conversation. Talking out does wonder in a marriage, do try it out!
Give A Day Off
Now, this will work better for fathers. Men, your wives will totally love you for this, trust me!
For all the mommies, juggling herself throughout the entire day with a billion chores at hand is a full-time job in itself. And nothing can sound better than getting a complete day off!
You can help your spouse with his/her daily chores once in a while thereby letting the other relax.
Mommies, on the other hand, can dedicate an entire day solely for the sake of their husbands. You can either make a meal plan including only his favourites or just randomly surprise him by doing the grocery. Trust me, he would love it! Making the other special one realize that his/her significance is still on your mind can actually do wonders, thereby helping to reignite romance after a baby.
Prioritize Your Spouse
With this, I just don’t mean forgetting your child. What I actually mean is to stop unnecessarily worrying about ALL the household chores. Try completing only those things that need immediate attention like doing the dishes, laundry and of course, changing your baby’s diapers.
Instead, invest this time in pleasing your spouse or at least sit and talk with them. Those tiny dry messed up clothes would do no harm to the humanity but losing some precious moments with your special one can actually be harmful to your marriage. Understand and prioritize what needs to be done and what can be delayed and based on them, stick to a pretty romantic plan once a day every week.
Few Minutes Every Day
Doesn’t matter how hard or rough the day has been, try investing at least 10-15 minutes, dedicated only for your spouse.
Once your baby comes, it’s really easy to lose the track thus losing that spark in your marriage. Take at least 15 minutes or even 5 minutes every day and have a transparent conversation. You can talk about how his/her day was or what plans do you guys have for the next day. Instead of judging, listen to what your partner has to say.
Try to fit yourself in his/her shoes. A little empathy can actually go a long way thus helping you to keep up the romance after a baby.
Marriage needs a lot of work, especially after a baby! But, with little and genuine efforts, it can be a beautiful journey.
Did I miss out on something? If yes, let me know in the comments. Also, don’t forget to share this post with all the new parents.